Now bear with me as I’ve moved on from the vegetable patch to the ambient store of life. This will all make sense I promise. It’s late here and everyone is in bed, which is when I sit and plan tomorrow’s post. Now last night I stayed up to do yesterday’s post and spent two hours on it, but alas I didn’t save it so lucky for you lot as it would have been very long indeed.
So the title of this post is due to a strong memory of just after my operation. I was unable to do most things and excuse the pun but i was a bit of a vegetable. My mom and Steve had been to do the weekly food shopping, returning with the weekly bags of food they set about putting it all away. I was as ever at that time just sat in the kitchen by the window with just my bird table to look at. Too weak to stand for long and unable to lift anything heavier than a teaspoon.
As the shopping went away Steve asked me where I kept the suet. I had decided that treacle suet pudding was going to be pudding on Sunday this week, none of your treacle sponge shit, I love the real thing. Suet is the only way to do this pudding Oh and it has to be accompanied with Birds custard too yum yum.
Anyway I told him where I kept it and it was at that moment that I had what you would call an out of body experience. I looked at the two of them putting things away and wondered what it would be like if I wasn’t here. Now remember that we didn’t even have the results of the operation at this time and my feelings were all over the place. I was pleased Harry was gone but I also feared what was now going to happen in terms of treatment. I was hoping at this stage that I maybe a stage 2 and no chemo would be required.
Anyway my point is that the suet lives in the double cupboard on the top shelf, right hand side. Food in the right hand side and the treat cupboard, now nicknamed the condom cupboard is on the left hand side. This now has to be renamed or just revert back to just the treat cupboard as the condoms finally made it upstairs(!) Anyway my point here is that it belongs there because that’s where I keep it. All of the cupboards are stocked with food which I have placed there because it’s my kitchen. What would happen if I wasn’t there to tell Steve where the suet lives? it might end up anywhere, misfiled in my kitchen. I hope you get my point now.
The whole suet thing that day made me think about dying and how would they all cope, what would happen to the suet? It was later on that same day that whilst diner was being prepared and I continued to sit divorced from the whole process that a song came on that I really like called ‘Young Blood.’ Now this song used to be played at work through the BHS radio and I used to sing along with it. As background music I wasn’t aware of the lyrics but loved the tune. So I’m sat looking at my loved ones busy working away and I start to cry. Rebecca comes straight over and gives me a cuddle. She didn’t know what made me cry that day as at that time we still had hope, but the thought of my loved ones going on without me was just breaking my heart.
After typing this and saving it, I decide to go to bed. I stood up and started to gag, saliva rushed into my mouth, oh no I can’t be sick, no! I stood for a while until it passed enough for me to move. I got into bed, Steve was still awake (bad sign if Steve can’t sleep). He came to cuddle me in a loving way but I had to stop him as I didn’t want to move and I really didn’t want to be sick. Yet again cancer stops us being together in whatever way it can. Bloody Harry!
I wake before anyone else, coffee, 1/2 biscuit and a fag later I check Facebook. Now I remember the other day someone posting a warning up about hackers sending posts out of a very sexual nature and that you are tagged in them. This morning I have seen 4 of these of my friends who I know would not be having lesbian sex. Well at least if the hackers do this to me you will all just know I’ve been scammed hey, LOL. Talking of sex, I spoke to Mr Grey yesterday and I have told him that we are going to write a sex manual and it will be called ’50 shades of Chemo’ to help people with real practical help. I have read the Macmillan booklet as promised on sex and cancer, whilst it is very information on a practical level, it offers no solutions on the restrictions of being radioactive. Mr Grey just laughs at me but I’m going to make him come round one evening, with a bottle of wine and do it. How could he refuse? I’ll play the cancer card if I have to, I won’t be able say no then haha.
Rebecca has gone into London for the day but says that we have to stay in for a parcel which is being delivered for her. The door bell goes and I’m given a massive box. In the big box was two smaller boxes. One full of 12 mini cheesecakes and one hugh Strawberries and Cream Cheesecake from the English Cheesecake Company, wow! So cousin Nicky and Aunty Shelia we will try to save some for you tomorrow. Now I know some of you will have seen my post on Facebook but for those of you who only read my blog this is what arrived and my comments to my very dear friends ‘The Juddys.’
FACEBOOK POST – OMG! I am so blessed. Rebecca told me last night that a parcel was going to be delivered for her and that it needed to be signed for. The door just went and OMG these were delivered.
My mom was moved to tears and Steve is checking the defrost times LOL. Thank you so much the Juddy family. I’m right as if love could kill cancer I’d be cured. thank you so much xxx
Then as arranged by ex boss came to see me which was very special for me. We don’t always like our bosses but Chris has a heart of gold and was great to work for. It was lovely to have him in our home, to sit and chat about everything from cancer to work to cats etc. I just love sharing moments with people now. Here is Chris, Sean and I in the chemo gazebo, now there’s fame for you. Beat that Mr Grey and Mr Vines! He also brought me a lovely ‘hugs mug’ I’ll have to get everyone round one day who is a regular feature in the blog for a photo shoot! Thank you Chris for my gift, card and more importantly for coming and sharing the morning with me.
Then after posting up the cakes photo, Leanne BFF (Best Friend Forever) said she was jealous of the cakes so I invited her round for tea, which she agreed to, so my day is just getting better and better. I’m so blessed and happy 🙂 Leanne has turned up for tea. I think the Cheesecakes tempted her not my company and she has also brought me a bottle of vodka and a box of beer 🙂 lucky me today 🙂
Back to the fecking complaints department!!!!!!!!
1. Was mum editing !!!! Too Short
2. Where was my invite??????
Lucky for you I’m trying to lose my Bridget Jones Knickers !!!!
Cakies not allowed 🙁
Mmmmm!!!! will pray to God to forgive you tomorrow at Mass for teasing me with yummmmmie cakes
Love always, your little fat Angel 🙂 x
God love you Rita 🙂 my mom said that I was rambling in this post 🙁 I think you need to have words with her. Cake time soon yum yum! Thanks for candles and prayers tomorrow, remember Karen needs extra prayers, bless her. You are welcome in my home in the chemo gazebo anytime xxx
Your lovely wee mum must encourage you to do more and be a good editor 🙂
I’ll get to you for lunch & a chin wag in the chemo gazebo soon, that’s a promise xxxxxx
I feel so special to have been photographed in the chemo gazebo and was a little disappointed it doesn’t have a banner so Wendy…, that is your next challenge…. Lovely to see you x x and meet your Mum again and meet Steve .
Morning boss, Steve has an idea for the banner so we will have a go. Thanks for being part of making my day so special xx