My last two posts have been a bit long as there was so much to get in but I did miss things out which I need to put right on top of my usual daily ramblings.
#Squirrelgate – two mornings ago, very early I was in the chemo gazebo alone and there was one of Molly’s balls on the floor. I saw out of the corner of my eye a squirrel coming for it. I stopped and stared at it, it stared back at me. I could see my phone nearby and moved my hand slowly towards the phone so that I could video what was happening but the bloody thing must have known what I was going to do or was just camera shy. It ran off down the garden and the moment was lost but at least Molly’s ball was safe.
Tia – The ungrateful rescued cat – Last week whilst I was raged with pain and unable to sleep. I was tossing and turning to get comfy in bed. This at one point involved me putting one leg out of the quilt and having one leg in. Now Tia always sleeps on Steve’s side of the bed as he is her favourite person. She was outraged that my leg had invaded her space and attacked my leg. So I’m in pain, the cats attacking and hissing at me! No wonder I gave up trying to sleep that night, not welcomed in my own bed.
Last Saturday night – Debs is a friend of Leah’s who I went to school with, they are part of the same running club. Debs was a very close friend of my sister Julie. As Leah shares my posts Debs started reading then. Can you imagine the moment she actually realised that she knew me, I can’t, it must have been such a shock for her. Anyway she turned up on Saturday night to see me but I sadly didn’t get a photo of her. I didn’t mention Tamsin either as she dropped in for a quick half an hour but had to leave but I appreciate you making the effort, thank you. And finally from last Saturday I forgot to post up the photo of April grabbing my boobs as they are along with my feet, cancer and pain free areas of my body. So here’s the photo which always makes me smile.
Now I have shared lots of things with you all but being with so many school friends has brought back so many fond memories that I may start with a daily section for a few weeks to make you all laugh about school day memories. But where to start? Should it be from my primary school days where I took in a 12 tray of Carling Black Label to share with school friends as this beer was left over from a family party? Or should it be the story of my last day at The Crestwood School where I got everyone drunk and we were all sent home in disgrace? Endless options but I will do some stories for you over the coming days. I have decided to start with embarrassing Debs who is married to Tony Dalloway and this story came back to me whilst we were outside having a fag together. I was at her house for the day and we had been sun bathing, can’t remember how old we were. I didn’t use any cream, well you didn’t back then did you? After hours in the garden I was red raw, really burnt and so seeking advice from her as I was so sore her words of advice was to get into a hot bath, as hot as I could stand it and relax. Well you can imagine the pain, thanks Debs for trying to kill me off at such a young age! So top health tip, if poorly in any way don’t ask Deb Dalloway for advice 🙂
I had an email from Frankie two days ago, so just to let you know that she is okay on cycle 3 of chemo and not had to return to hospital, which is great news. I have asked her to let me know if the chemo is working for her as she must be close to the halfway CT scan and the dreaded results appointment. Thinking of you Frankie x
Back to last night. I was pain free, fabulous but I was flushed and red faced but cold inside. I felt low inside, just unwell and although glad of being pain free it had been a full on day and I was also tired. Steve suggested that I should try to go to bed. It was only 11 pm and if I go too early then I’m awake too early. I however agreed as I needed sleep. We went to the kitchen to take my last drugs of the day, new ones from Nurse Suzanne, these make you drowsy so I hoped they would enable me to sleep longer. I start to feel sick and I moved to the downstairs loo as Steve will never to able to cope with seeing me being sick. I manage not to be sick so Steve gives me anti sickness drugs too and I head off to bed. 2.36 am I am awake! FFS! So downstairs I head for the usual 1/2 biscuit, coffee and a fag. No sign of Tia (the ungrateful rescued cat) and that’s because I have locked her in Richards bedroom by mistake last night but this doesn’t come to light until mom wakes up at 7 am. I start to gag again and I’m sick but most food has been digested so it’s just bile really. Then I start with the diarrhea which after only being twice in over one week is not a bad thing. The constant morphine and co-codamol taking over the past weeks have bunged me up and after yesterday of not needing them finally my body is starting to work again. I manage to sleep from 4 – 6 am when it’s finally day light comes and I can move into the chemo gazebo 🙂
#Squirrelgate – update number 2, Tia has chased off the squirrel from the garden, The squirrel ran up the tree and was making the most peculiar pissed off sound for ages. I tried to record it in the tree again for you but without success but one day I’ll get a good shot of it for you all.
Thank you to Alison for my parcel today of laminated photo’s that I can put in my Chemo gazebo to brighten it up a bit plus the animal treats, they will love them.
Now loads of you have contacted me about how pleased you are that I’m not in pain. As ever, I have said all along this isn’t about me it’s about my loved ones. As Steve now feels so much better that there is help at the end of a phone line if he needs it. That he is not solely responsible for my pain. Can you imagine me asking him for more pain relief in agony and he has given me everything that he is allowed too. How soul destroying is all that? After posting up about abuse and the journey we have been on together I feel that he deserves some love. Someone posted last night that he deserves a ‘husband award’ and he does. But they don’t do those so I have dedicated a song for him. All men will now just switch off as the ‘slush alert’ button is now flashing in their brains but that’s okay as the girls will love it.
It’s an old classic and I heard this song when Rebecca played it on one of our trips to the hospital. I hadn’t heard it in years and I cried as I drove soaking up the words and their true meaning, the true meaning of love, which when the chips are down we show are true colours. The true depth of love that luckily for me is endless and knows no limit from my devoted Mr Wonderful. So here it is for you, listen and get the tissues ready first.
Well we’ve just returned from hospital to have my PICC line removed which was easy. Apparently Frankie was in this morning and was asking after me, bless her. We just missed each other 🙁
We returned home after collecting an Iced Coffee Frappe from McDonald’s yum. I have spent the last 2 hours doing project work but put Kingston’s figures into Harrow’s template, now I’m mad. I’ve had the runs and then just thrown up so my day has been a little testing to say the least but hey at least the PICC line has gone and I can at last have a shower although my arm will look like a chicken drumstick, but I’ll be clean at last.
Catch you all tomorrow, much love xx