Karen who is on the same journey as me which started on ward 12 in Wycombe General Hospital is always a day or too ahead of me in this game. My chemo started on Friday 5th June and she started hers on Wednesday 3rd June. Now we speak most weeks on the phone or at least text other other. Karen had already suffered so much and I texted her on 3rd to say good luck. Karen had been prescribed the same treatment as me and for the same duration, 8 cycles over 6 months. As she went first I was naturally very interested to hear how she got on as I was next.
She replied to my texts on Saturday to start with to say she was okay. I texted her on Tuesday for an update but no reply. On Wednesday I received this text “I am in hospital again!!! admitted last night dehydrated and sick. Sorry u r feeling crap too. Fed up already! Big hugs xxx”
I just couldn’t believe it, that she was again back in hospital, back to feeling crap and back to being physically sick. I just felt so sorry for her. I again then felt guilty cos by comparison as I was doing okay. I was grateful of course but my heart went out to her.
Turns out, as Karen and I spoke the other day that they stopped her chemo so she could recover. Now that raises loads of questions, Does she have to start cycle 1 again? – no was the answer and when does she start again? – 24th June was the answer. She is going to have a lower dose and this will be given through a central line and not a cannula intravenously as in her words “my veins are shagged”. So I ask another question, so if we both need 100mgs of chemo intravenously and they turn yours down to 75mgs then is that enough? and if it is enough why can’t we both have the lower dose and have less symptoms – neither of us could answer that one.
So she starts again on Wednesday and I will be thinking of her and just hoping that it goes well. Having had to sit there for hours having chemo pumped into me and knowing how much that burns and mentally how hard it is. I said to Karen that I couldn’t imagine how much strength of character she will need to have to find for the courage to sit there again whilst it could make her feel so ill, again. She said that they had given her tranquillizers to take Tuesday night and Wednesday morning to help her. My poor friend, I can’t believe how much she has been through, how hard her journey has been so far and we are both only on the first cycle of 8.
