As time goes by

Yesterday my editors were unhappy with my ramblings and so I thought I’d do a lighter post that reflects more on life and how ‘time goes by’. I remember what hard work it was having just 16 months between Rebecca and Richard. It would have been easier to have twins. As Rebecca was walking and Richard wasn’t it made even going to the loo a major task in itself. I couldn’t leave them together in the same room in case Rebecca decided to feed her brother or do anything that may hurt him. Just one of the many trials and tribulations of being a new mom. I remember one day when moaning about just how walking out of the house was like a military operation, bags full of bottles, nappies, spare clothes etc etc the bag of everything. This person said to me that they would both be 21 before I knew it and I would regret wishing these early years away. I recall being angry as I was in this never ending 24/7 job that whilst it’s been the best job of my life at times I like any mom could just feel overwhelmed with the never ending chores. The bloody bitch about life is that she was right, but I couldn’t see it at the time. Where has all the time and years gone too?  This photo is one of my favourite photos but I have many lol.

Cake baking at Nanny's house
Cake baking at Nanny’s house

Seeing my cousin was wonderful this weekend and when our kids were growing up I used to visit cousin Nicky every Thursday. Now Rebecca and Danielle were at school but our boys Richard and Jack played together. This photo was taken at a family wedding. Richard is the one on the left and Jack on the right.

Our Boys :-)
Our Boys 🙂

Now both our boys are grown up and I’m proud to say both serve our country in the British Army. This is them recently with their sisters after their passing out parades.

Danielle and Jack
Danielle and Jack
Richard and Rebecca
Richard and Rebecca

Now my photos are no different than yours in that we all love our children unconditionally. All those years, all that joy and hard work and now they are all grown up, where did the those years go?

Okay enough of cute kids and back to my life now. The curfew is 2 hours of sharing moments. Last night we all played Mario Kart. Now we haven’t played this in years. It was fun to play it again and I have fond memories of playing this with Lauren, she normally won out of all of us. So I as always came last, Richard won as normal, Steve came 2nd and Rebecca was 3rd but only because she had to leave us and have a shower at 10.30. My mom tried but failed at even completing a lap. She spent most of the time going the wrong way. It was so funny watching my mom even trying to play it, even she nearly choked laughing at herself.

It’s morning and I am in the chemo gazebo as normal and my phone rings, it’s Ant (my sisters husband). Now Ant, as much as I love him is a man of few words. We spoke for 20 minutes and 18 seconds! He said that he would have called sooner but it had taken him all these days to actually read my blog. I’m impressed now, not only that he read it but he took the time to read it all. We talked about how in 25 years our only contact had been texts twice a year, Julie’s Birthday and her death day. That’s 100 text messages of ‘thinking of you’. He then said, “where has all the time and years gone” to which I replied “how funny as that’s the title of today’s post”. We talked about the fun years on motorbikes, our children etc. It was so lovely to speak to him and not cry, to laugh and smile about a life we used to share together.

I have a lunch date with chemo bud Karen so after the call from Ant I go to get ready and set off. I arrive at 12 as planned and wait outside the services. Then I saw my friend pulling up in her car, we wave and I walk to meet her to give her a big hug. Drinks bought we sat and talked without noticing the time until I realised it was 1.30. Who else can I discuss shitting yourself with? The ‘one minute warning’ which we both agree is actually only 10 – 20 seconds. The smelly toilets and the embarrassment of family members using the loo after you? Strong air freshener brands? And how to hide shitty pants in normal washing piles LOL. Okay so I’ve just told you lot, but Karen and I have a special friendship. Bowel cancer and going through chemo unless you have been through it is hard to endure and hard to imagine, but not for my chemo bud. Karen appreciates all the love and support from Rita, my family, Nicky and my friends.  I have asked her to write a guest post for you all as a special treat 🙂

So it’s now just after 2 o’clock and after eating a delicious Burger King lunch I suddenly remember the 2 hour parking rule. After finding out that it’s £100 fine we set off to find the services manager. His name is Anthony and he is lovely ;-). Before we meet him I said that we could maybe play the cancer card to get out of the fine but as we are young and look healthy I doubt anyone would believe us. Anthony was so lovely that I decided that flirting is the way to handle it. So I say “now who do I need to sleep with to get out of this £100 fine?” We were both let off the fine and linking arms walked out giggling like school girls. Thanks so much Karen, you are so special to me. Keep up the candles for her Rita, you would love her. Here is Karen with her Burger King at Oxford services.


Back home my back is painful and I take painkillers, not normal for me as I hate taking tablets. As I sit and write today’s post I can understand my editors feedback on yesterdays post. Karen said I rambled on too. This blog is about helping others in sharing the journey and as I am between cycles, have my daily ramblings gone into other areas of my life? Yes but I’m also trying to share my life and of those around me, so that you get to know me. So I told my mom that she should write a post too, that shocked her. She should share how she feels as I have asked Steve to do too. I doubt if she will but it’s worth asking. And we are still waiting for yours Steve, no pressure.

So if it’s about cancer and my journey, then it’s a good day. Without taking chemo tablets every day being as it’s my rest week, my need to go to the loo 4-6 times a day has returned and Karen says that I need to get my back pain checked out as that was one of her first symptoms.

So I’m just about finished this post and a work colleague, Yasmin calls me. Now I will use her real name but if she had to have a pseudonym it would be ‘Mother Hen’. Yasmin and technology don’t always see eye to eye so when I found out that she reads my blog everyday I was so shocked. She said that my blog makes cancer real and not something to be scared about it. She enjoys my ramblings, see mom! Rita, Yasmin says to get in touch LOL. Yasmin, thank you for calling and reading my blog. Every time any of you share it on Facebook we reach out to people. Today I’m excited because someone is reading it in Russia! Wow. Now I always know that in Australia it’s Uncle Peter, in Cyprus it’s Dena and in Turkey it’s Evrim but to be in Russia that’s amazing. You all did this by sharing my blog. Thank you. If you have never shared it please consider doing so, as I am trying to reach others so that Karen, myself and others don’t feel alone.


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Married to Steve, I have two children - Rebecca and Richard. Steve has two children, Lauren and Chris. Rebecca lives with us (nurse Rebecca) and my mom Judy also has become nurse and housekeeper but lives in the West Midlands. My son is in the Army and comes home when he can. I am 47, born in 1967 and I was told I had bowel cancer on 22nd Feb 2015 and this blog is my journey through it. I hope it helps you as you were the reason I started it.

12 thoughts on “As time goes by”

    1. No tears cousin Nicky but they do us proud, all of them don’t they. Pity Jack never liked me but I didn’t put that bit in LOL Hope you had a fabulous evening (party girl) 🙂 xxx

  1. Funny how our minds work, I was only telling Shauneen how quickly the years go by, you seem to blink and there it goes. Sad isn’t it.
    I wish I could re live those years they were sooooo precious x
    But that’s the blessing of memories I can close my eyes and it’s like the film rolls and I can be back & enjoy 🙂
    Great blog wee woman x keep them coming.
    So pleased you got to catch up with Karen that is what life’s all about !!!! Even in your darkest hours you reach out in life to support each other. It’s a blessing x
    Nearly time out time x
    Chill & enjoy your evening x
    Big loves & hugs x
    Maybe I’ll get the pleasure to meet Karen x

    1. Memories, so precious hey. The lovely Leanne is ry to get me to organise a Birthday party in August so maybe you will meet sooner than you think 🙂 xxx

  2. Keep on rambling!
    There is only 14 months between my boys and I remember all the difficulties when they were younger! When the younger one was learning to walk his brother kept knocking him over! I thought he’d never learn to stand up! Lol!

    1. Hi Leah, reunion organisor for after Christmas (all being well) and thanks for the feedback on my ramblings. See you soon I hope xxx

  3. OMG I’m crying and laughing reading about our toilet habits , I don’t know whether to hide in shame or stand out loud and proud! Bless you! GO TO THE DOCTOR about your back woman!

    It was so lovely to see you today,thank you so much for treating me , I really enjoyed my burger! Definitely worth another visit but this time without a time limit!

    You are an inspiration and great friend. Big loves til next time xxxx
    Thank you for all your best wishes Rita,keep em coming they are really appreciated xxx

    1. You guys will have me a nun soon lol
      My priest must think I’ve sinned dreadfully to be lighting so many candles !!!!!!!
      Don’t worry my lovelies the prayers & candles will keep coming and my sis Frances ( we call her Frankie Freckles) lol in Ireland is praying for you both too 🙂
      Now no more shitting your Bridget Jones’s girls cause Frankie Freckles is a Staff Nurse and she’ll just have fit you both with colostomy bags tee hee
      Nite & God Bless girls xxx

      1. LOL – Love you Rita you are so funny. Tomorrows post has an Irish theme and an Irish question for you to answer, now that will keep you in suspense won’t it haha xxx

    2. Loud and Proud, definitely the way to go. Love your bum is what I say LOL, it was fun wasn’t it 🙂 xxx

  4. Makes 2 of us in Australia reading it Wendy . Your blog always makes me chuckle (well most of the time), keep rambling as you’re doing a marvellous job xxxx

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