Blown Away

Well you lot certainly as ever do me proud. I knew it was the right thing to do in asking for your help in naming the calendar. The suggestions come flooding in last night. Some funny, some a clever play on words and some rude! But all welcomed. Here are just some of the suggestions that we have to consider. However the big man himself, Juddy sent me a message to say that he liked ‘Turn the other Cheek’  I liked it instantly but thinking about how people ignore symptoms I added the the word don’t and suggested back to him that it should be called ‘Don’t Turn The Other Cheek’ I excitedly ask Steve what he thinks but he said it’s the wrong play on words 🙁 He went to Grammar School and is super clever unlike poor me. In fact if it wasn’t for him and my mom editing my posts none of you would be interested in my story as it would probably be unreadable for mistakes both in spelling and grammar. In our house I complete the post each day and I then ask for it to be checked. This always reminds me of my school days when your waiting for the teacher to give you feedback and mark your work. I only cared about this at infant school as by secondary school I was having far too much fun with friends to care about grammar.

Anyway I am rambling on so here are some of the other suggestions:

Bumps a Daisy, Rear of the Year, The Bottom Line, Bums Away, The Bare Truth, Booty Full Bodies, Bootiful Bums, Cheers for Rears, A Bum Start, Have no Fear Rear is Here, Chums with Bums, Arse Almanac, Derriere Diary, Bottoms Up, Weeks of Cheeks, Big Bouncy Calendar, Bostin Bums and Cheeky Calendar.

Ruder suggestions were:

Together we can stop this Shit, What a Bummer and Come from Behind.

Now I still really like Juddy’s suggestion ‘Don’t Turn the Other Cheek’ and talking of the big man himself, I just really can’t wait to unleash his photo and the others into the world and I really want it to be on the front cover of the Calendar too. He as you can imagine is not a small man but he not only got his bum out for me, he went and hired costumes for the shot, he had the guts to bare his bum and make it so funny, the effort and thought that went into it is just incredible.  Now all that takes real guts and instead of being shy, he loves it all. He throws himself into the spirit of it plus he tells all of his work mates about me and raises £100 through cup cakes sales last friday. Now that’s an amazing friend isn’t it? Thanks Juddy, you really are a star to me, you and the Countess Judd.

So back to the plight of cancer sadly and the never ending pain of yesterday. Oral morphine taken on top of the usual daily drugs plus extra pain killers and I endure another 8 hours of back breaking pain. My mom even called me at one point but I just didn’t have the energy to even speak to her about my exciting day. It’s not just the cancer pain but as I disclosed the other day the drugs that I take slow my bodily functions down and although I have been (God I hate talking about poo). I only went once in 6 days and had to take laxatives to get things going again and that was 3 days ago. The plan was that I was to to take two laxative drinks a day to keep things moving. Did I do that? Errr no I didn’t. Steve says that he feels like a mechanic, that I bring my broken car to him, he fixes it and then I keep returning as it’s not working cos I keep putting petrol in my diesel car. Also since the operation if I do too much then my tummy starts to look like a bouncy castle and swells up. So that’s what’s happening tonight. I’m in so much pain, my stomach is so swollen and hard so I start taking the laxatives again. Steve goes to bed before midnight as he says that he doesn’t want to be around then it all starts to move and I don’t blame him. Nothing has happened yet apart from lots of tummy rumblings, and wind, hence the title of today’s post ‘Blown Away’ that and I have been blown away with the fund raising from everyone. Oh well I think I’ve just got to just accept that I need to take two laxatives a day and just ‘man up’ about it all.

So last night whilst I play my favourite game of ‘wack a comment’ with your comments and suggestions I’m in so much pain sitting in my Dream Machine chair with my belly exposed. Thought I’d share that mental image with you all haha. By 12.30 I’m so tired and I fall asleep. I wake at 3.30 am so that’s not too bad and start today’s post.

Now as I am going to be at travelling to Daventry to attend the BHS conference. Wednesday there may not be a post from me so don’t all panic that I’ve lost the will to live. If there is no post then the very least I will do is post up the ‘Cancer Free’ video and the link for equal screening for you to all share again as my Goddaughter Beth still wants it to be a Christmas Number 1 and also the signatures on the petition have slowed down and it’s so important that we keep that going.

Serious stuff continuing, sorry but I thought I would just share with you funding and why I love the charity Beating Bowel Cancer. Last year 80 million pounds was raised for charities across Britain by us, the generous public together with some central Government funding. I found this very interesting article which The Daily hate, whoops sorry The Daily Mail wrote and it’s worth a read trust me, just follow the link to find out what’s really happening with your money.

The figures are astonishing. There are more than 195,289 registered charities in the UK that raise and spend close to £80 billion a year. Together, they employ more than a million staff – more than our car, aerospace and chemical sectors – and make 13 billion ‘asks’ for money every year, the equivalent of 200 for each of us in the UK.

Beating Bowel Cancer is the support and campaigning charity for everyone affected by bowel cancer.

We provide vital practical and emotional help – on the phone, digitally and face to face. We’re proud to run the UK‘s only nurse-led specialist helpline for bowel cancer which patients call a ‘lifeline’.

We bring patients with bowel cancer together to share invaluable experience and support, through our website, social media and major events.

Our high impact campaigns have led to the introduction of the bowel cancer screening programme, which is helping save lives, as well as new funding and greater patient access to life-changing cancer treatments.

Here is what they provided from the Decembeard fund raising of £330k. Steve is so excited to support me that he is taking part in this in Decembeard and is recruiting a man team to join him. I’m dreading seeing him with a beard YUK! But I get that for him and many men out there they want to support the people they love in anyway they can, so I’ll just have to keep my eyes closed tightly if we ever get the pain under control and make love again LOL.

So back to today, I’m going to just rest up, pack and hopefully get my body functioning again otherwise I wont be able to go, as planned swimming tonight, I’ll just float around like an inflatable toy. I also wont be able to wear anything with a waist band as it will never go around my swollen tummy. Oh the joys of cancer and bowel surgery hey!

I am so worried about getting through the next two days as if I just sit I’m okay with the pain but if I do anything slightly normal like empty the dishwasher I’m in pain again. So after some advice from Jani (beating Bowel Cancer) volunteer I called Ian Rennie. Marina talked through my pain with me. I am going to increase the 12 hour slow release morphine from Thursday night. I am not doing from today as the increase may make me sick or spaced out for a few days and I cannot be throwing up at conference, oh the shame. Whilst on the phone to Marina I tell her about the £600 and about Julie, which makes me cry again and she also thinks it’s wonderful of Ant to send me the money to choose the charity on Julie’s behalf. So that’s the new plan on pain control. If this works I’m hoping I will be able to do more normal things like walking Molly Dog. I long to be able to be normal again. I’d like to be able to go out without a wheelchair and walking stick, I dare to dream this may be possible.

I will take lots of photos and be back with you all on Thursday night with a post with all the repeatable gossip and the fun that we will have. For me I’m just glad to be going. This would not be even possible without My Mr Wonderful who is taking me, HR and James at HO for ensuring I have a disabled room and all that I could possibly need and finally the wonderful Mr Grey who has agreed to drive me home again on Thursday. Thank you all so so so so much.

Finally a massive thank you to Gary Punt who donated yesterday too. He is the regional NVQ person for BHS as well as other companies and is very much a part of the BHS Kingston family. We have raised money for his local Scout Group and the wonderful Emma plus Sian have also supported him by assisting him with the kids to attend West End Show etc, see I told you BHS Kingston was a great family to be part of, thanks Gary.

And then Rita says she has raised a massive £314.00 from her and the team in Chichester, just amazing! Big thanks and love to all the Chichester BHS team. Your efforts mean so much to me and the charity. I have also received another anonymous donation of £20, thank you whoever you are.

Oh I nearly forgot the name of the calendar it will be called …….

Bostin Bums, a Real Cheeky Calendar!

Now I hope you like it and the word Bostin comes from the Black Country and means ‘great’. It’s fitting for me to have that link and I like the play on words  ‘Bostin Bums’. I hope you all like it too and sorry Juddy I did try for yours but it’s grammatically wrong so Steve says we can’t use it 🙁

So normal service will return on Thursday xxx

Whoops and finally, I received this lovely gift this morning from someone called Teresa, now I have asked the Teresa’s I know and they say it isn’t from them so please let me know if you sent this too me so that I can thank you. Tatty Teddy is lovely and suits my chair too, he will also look great in Daisy Den so thank you very much. And now I’m really going to pack now lol