TALL – stands for Thanks, Appreciation, Love and Loo
Okay so in that order
Thanks – I need to say a massive thank you to 2 anonymous donors on my Justgiving page and to Janet from part of the BHS family (she runs the most organised, team spirited, cleanest store I have ever seen and inspired me along with Mr Muscles at a meeting one day in her store). Lorraine who I had the pleasure of working with in Oxford Street for M&S. Everyone who shares my blog as in 3 months we have had 58,126 hits. To everyone who has shared and signed the petition for equality in bowel screening. For everyone who has shared the Cancer Free song which has now had 5980 views between Facebook and You Tube.
Appreciation – for all your fund raising efforts. Countess Judd has, like BHS Kingston, decided to change their planned Macmillan fund raising days this week to fund raising for Beating Bowel Cancer. There are rumours from Mr Grumpy Bum that BHS Uxbridge are also planning fund raising. Every contribution no matter how large or small to this wonderful charity means so much to me. Last year Macmillan received £215 million pounds in donations from you the public, and for some people they can’t thank them enough and I respect that and their experiences. Me, I phoned them myself, had countless people contact them on my behalf, had 3 doctor referrals and still they didn’t bother! So sadly that was my experience of them, plus don’t even get me started on their information leaflets! To everyone who has contributed to the calendar so far and for the photos due to come in still. To those who have left a review for me on iBooks, now the book has all 5 stars by everyone, now I expected this from my hubby but there are names that I don’t know on there also giving it 5 Stars. If you haven’t given it a review please do consider doing this for me as it will help spread awareness to all – I am sharing a real story about life and not just about cancer.
This Saturday we are doing a local fund raising and awareness day in my home town of High Wycombe. We are starting at 9.30 outside the Library by M&S. Friends from my Lib Dem family have pledged cover each hour until 2 pm. BFF and Sex Kitten will be there. Steve and Rebecca too, I plan to be there between 11 – 3 and Leanne from the BBC charity will also be there. If you live in the area, if you want to join us to help or just if you are just out and about on Saturday come and say hello, bring your unwanted small change too. If you need any help, advice or just someone to talk to about worries or concerns come and see us.
Love – I am surrounded by love and support every day from my immediate family and devoted hubby, from friends far and wide across the world, from readers who don’t know me but have read my story and just care and all of your love gives me strength to keep going everyday. Yesterday I got a private message from a friend and it just made me cry as I read it out to hubby. Now this blog was never about embarrassing anyone but me so I will not reveal who it is from but they will know.
Here’s what I wrote to you on the 27th of May 2015 but never sent: “You may have a long road ahead, but I know that you’re going to get through this Wendy – I just know it. Just like I knew with my auntie. They gave her 6 months with lung cancer in 1989 – She only died last year (and it wasn’t from cancer.) She simply refused to accept it. I think the power of the mind is stronger than any medicine, but the two together can work wonders. x” You still have a long road ahead of you my Lovely, but I believe it more now than ever. This just goes to show that even when it’s so bad that you can’t go on, miracles DO happen. Don’t you ever, ever, EVER give up – we’re all here fighting with you, every step of the way. x
Now this touched me because it reminded me oh how low I was last weekend, that I just wanted an end to all my suffering but that I came through it because of you all. I have received beautiful messages every day. I love it when you have the courage to post them on the blog as they will be there forever and be part of the next book, your words and mine together on a daily record of journey through all of this.
LOO – now as much as yesterday was a fantasic day and it was there is a problem that has been brewing but I’ve not shared it with you all as it’s about my all time favourite topic of going to the loo. Now all of the medication that I take slows the body down, including the bowel. On Sunday night I had to confess to my drug lord that I hadn’t been for days. So that night I took laxatives, nothing happened, slight wind but nothing else. On Monday after being to the hospital I was told this was now getting serious and to take more but if it didn’t work I had to contact them for some ‘rocket fuel’. So yesterday I took more, nothing happened. An hour later as instructions direct I took more and nothing happened. At 11pm I took more and nothing happened. Today is day 6 without any movement at all and my tummy is swelling up. I myself am now getting concerned as you forget that I have a 1/3 less storage area and any extra pressure could cause complications to the surgery site. I will continue today taking them as you can take up to 8 in a day but we may need extra help, ‘oh my days’ the joy of life hey?
Last night I stayed up until 1.30 and last drugs taken I head up to bed. I slept in my normal position with only a mild background ache, you can’t call it pain and I woke at 3.50, that’s 2 hours continual sleep which isn’t a lot but it meant a lot to me, just to go to bed and lie down and not be in agony. I think I only woke up due to Steve snoring which is something that he doesn’t normally do but it woke me up it was so loud. Now due to not sleeping for days I hadn’t had the usual routine to report but today it was coffee, 1/2 a biscuit and a fag as normal. Molly strolled into the kitchen to say hello but no sign yet of Tia (the ungrateful rescued cat) her routine is really out of sync due to the last few days but she will appear when hungry enough.
So after yesterday’s post the more observant of you spotted that as promised I didn’t post a wig photo so as I could never let you all down here are my wig photos and all feedback good or bad is greatly appreciated. The funny thing was that although I have a wig I don’t have a wig stand to place it on, these don’t come free with the wig. On the draining board in the kitchen was the vase that came with the flowers that Rita sent to me when I first came out about having cancer. It was draining as the lovely Louise Lowe had sent me flowers for my Birthday and they had sadly come to an end. Now the vase is head shaped almost and now it has doubled into a temporary wig stand too, see Rita how fab is that a vase/wig stand, who knew hey LOL
Daisy Den update – day two of platform construction – there is no update as rain has stopped play. It’s rained here all day but tomorrow’s forecast is much better so more photos then.
Spike the squirrel has not been seen due to the extra activity in the garden but I just know that he is watching from a distance biding his time to pounce on Molly’s balls!!!
My Ian Rennie visit was with the lovely Marina, we discussed the success with the pain relief, she is delighted to see me mobile and free from pain. We discuss the DS1500 form which Countess Judd advised me about, she she has already got these forms for me and is sorting all of this out for me. I’m not worried about the forms meaning of end of life as I’m not a statistic and I will continue to work daily with a positive attitude and with your help and love I will take each day, enjoy it as best I can, appreciate the beauty in everything and give thanks for every moment as none of us know what tomorrow brings. I will also continue to spread awareness, to stop anyone else going through this heartache would just mean so much to me.
Marina is very concerned about my lack of ‘movement’ and if I don’t go by tomorrow then a poor nurse has been organised to come to my house to give me an enema!!! What was that I was saying about seeing the joy in every day LOL. So since Marina has gone I have taken another 3 doses of laxatives and still nothing! I have to go today or its up the bum action for me tomorrow.
Once Marina has gone I hit the wall of tiredness and sleep outside in the chemo gazebo for two whole hours, wow in no pain and wake still in no pain. This is just so wonderful compared to the endless days and weeks before we had help from Ian Rennie as they have really taken ownership of my care and work so well with my GP to get me the right combination of drugs to improve my quality of life.
We have just received a call for Wycombe hospital to say that there has been a cancellation and I have my MRI scan tomorrow at 12.10 so that’s good news too. It’s been another good day for me and my loved ones (apart from dealing with the idea of me now being classed as officially terminal) who have been relieved at seeing the new mobile pain free me 🙂
Final thanks to Jane from the Isle of Wight who has sent me a piece of daisy rock and a lovely Daisy card. Also to Josh who is helping us to finalise the photos for the calendar and to Richard’s Army mates who have been game and shown their bums too for the calendar today, the photos are amazing and again I can’t wait to share all the photos with you all and the world.