Stuck in the middle

So Harry had been sent off for tests whilst I was recovering at home. We all knew that these results would be important in terms of the next steps. Mr Mullerat had told us that Harry had broken through the bowel wall and started to eat away at my tummy so we knew we were at least looking at stage 2 or stage 3 cancer and these results would shape the next steps of the treatment. Would I need chemo? would I loose my hair? how long would chemo last? The endless questions going around and round and round in my head. I was sleeping at least twice a day still getting over the operation, I could walk and stand a little easier but I wasn’t anywhere close to being normal. I was going to mention poo at this point but I think poo needs a whole blog just to itself later on so I’ll just say that trips to the loo was followed by discomfort and burning like I had never experienced, making you feel very childlike and very sore, oh my poor bum!
On Saturday 11th April a letter came through the door from Mr Mullerat to say that he wanted to see me in clinic on 10th May. My mom went into a complete outrage, it was disgusting she thought, just not good enough for her daughter, I shouldn’t have to wait that long for the results, I should be a priority. She said not for the first time that I should go private, that she would sell her house to fund it and it would all be okay if enough money was thrown at it, oh bless her for wanting this to be true. Steve on the other hand was elated that we were being kept waiting as that meant that it was all okay, nothing was wrong, no stress or panic cos if there was something serious going on they would have called me in sooner, denial again Steve I think.
The problem was that it was a Saturday and so for the weekend I was stuck in the middle of my furious mom and my happy hubby. We all decided that I would call on the Monday to find out what was going on and why I had to wait so long for my results, it was a long weekend.
Monday morning came round so at about 10.30 I dialed the secretaries number, straight to answer machine as she was on annual leave until tomorrow so there was nothing I could do until the next day, stuck in the middle of two opposing views and trying to stay calm.
On Tuesday I dialed the number again and got through 🙂 Mr Mullerat’s secretary was lovely and completely understood my call “let me just get your file” she said and after a pause of her reading she said that yes Mr Mullerat did want to see me sooner and was I available to come into clinic on Monday? Yes I replied, of course.
Now any woman loves the ‘I told you so moment’ and if you say you don’t you are lying but I couldn’t do that to Steve his face said it all, I knew as he did that what he had been saying about them seeing you earlier if it was urgent was true and him lying to himself for 3 days and trying to calm the whole thing down had just slapped him in the face like a big wet smelly fish and he had no words left. Mom went quite too, not that she wanted the ‘I told you so’ moment either but like Steve and I we had all been hit in the face with a big wet smelly fish and another waiting game unfolded of ‘what if’s’ until the appointment date came round of Monday 20th April when we would find out about Harry.

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Married to Steve, I have two children - Rebecca and Richard. Steve has two children, Lauren and Chris. Rebecca lives with us (nurse Rebecca) and my mom Judy also has become nurse and housekeeper but lives in the West Midlands. My son is in the Army and comes home when he can. I am 47, born in 1967 and I was told I had bowel cancer on 22nd Feb 2015 and this blog is my journey through it. I hope it helps you as you were the reason I started it.

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