Sleep and Facebook

What bloody sleep? One of the many side effects from chemo is the tiredness that engulfs your body and you have to rest or sleep. Chemo sleep isn’t restful, you wake and you just don’t feel any better. Last night I went to bed at 2 am, I saw 3.22, 4.22 and at 5.22 I gave up. At least it’s light and it feels like another day has started. Rita sees that I’m up via Facebook and sends me a lovely message. She has a day of Nana time planned with her grandchildren, precious times.

I have a meeting in High Wycombe store today with Guy so I take my chemo tablets early so that I’ll be as good as I can be. Before I know it I’m asleep again.  Yesterday was just horrible for sleeping too. I get that flat look about me that the rest of the family see and it’s just not funny for them. I can’t even walk Molly, movement and walking are just too hard. So going into Wycombe was going to be a struggle. I decide not to drive as I don’t feel safe.

Steve takes me in and every step is just so painful, sharp pains and dizziness are so disabling. People fit and healthy rush around getting to work as I used to and I envy them. I’m greeted by Mary and Ann in store but I hate letting them see me like this. I know Mary doesn’t care but it’s still not nice for people to see. She helps me up the many stairs and we have to stop due to stomach cramps. I make it to Guy and he has worries of his own with his son. I haven’t ever seen him this flat, worried and concerned for his family. So between us we make a great pair. We discussed the forthcoming meeting and things he wanted to add to my presentation. We then concluded that we both needed to go, him to be with his family and me back home to sleep and no movement.

Facebook – I only joined Facebook so that I could stalk my kids, honestly. I had no idea how this programme would change all of us. I message Pete in Australia who says that he is feeling better but he has to stay in hospital for another two weeks to continue to take antibiotics. Not that long ago you would have to take out a second mortgage if loved ones moved to Australia to pay for the phone calls. I’m so pleased that Pete is doing well. Rita’s prayers are working their way to you ‘Stud Muffin’.

School day friends are constantly in touch and this is just wonderful. All those years spent together growing up and without Facebook now how would we stay in touch daily? I also get lots of messages from people I have worked with before and through the power of all of you who share my blog online some of you are reading about my journey with cancer and it brings back memories of suffering that you yourselves have had to endure.

I am also pleased to hear from anyone who is or has been part of my life, from school friends to anyone in the BHS family. I understand the ‘should I or shouldn’t I get in touch’ but it really does mean a lot to me to hear from you.

Coffee Time :-) cheers Lorraine x
Coffee Time 🙂 cheers Lorraine x

The Postman comes with another package, The lovely Lorraine has sent me some coffee beans from Nero’s. Thank you so much Lorraine and we can enjoy one together in person soon I hope.

Behind the scenes I am working on some fun stuff for you. 50 shades of Chemo is being done on Thursday night with Mr Grey and my BFF. This however will be a complete giggle session and I hope that we manage to get something down on paper for you. My mom is concerned about my sex tips and keeps asking me about it, how rude will it be, where will it appear on the blog and I think will my mom be too embarrassed to read it? My mom is too nosey so she will definitely be reading it LOL

The other stuff will be revealed in good time but I’m constantly thinking of how I can make your day as writing these ramblings helps me so much. I just want you to enjoy it, share in the bad days and rejoice with me in the good ones. A true reflection of cancer, it’s treatment and side effects so that you won’t be scared if it happens to you or it can help anyone you know going through it. One of the articles that Heather sent to me the other day reflects on her friends and how she laughs at the silly things people say to those with cancer. I have certainly had my rants about these comments made to me in the past.  I really did connect with the most hurtful thing people do and that’s not getting in touch at all. You worry that they don’t know or don’t care however I know it’s the ‘What do I say’ moment that strikes fear into everyone. If it’s ignored then it’s not happening. I think every cancer sufferer has played this game too.

Yesterday Jacqui from BHS Head Office posted up a charity event they ran at head office for Breast Cancer and a cream tea was organised. I remember last year at Kingston we did Zumba for this great charity. We had a blast as normal and I got the male members of the team to wear pink bras to raise money too. I remember that day well, not just for the fun we had but I was shocked at how many people came up to us quietly to say that they had lost someone they loved to Breast Cancer. Just silent sadness and a chance to give into a bucket is some way of giving something back to the support they may have received. So as I’m in a flat mood due to chemo I thought you might be cheered up by watching us trying to do Zumba and for my BHS family in Kingston a chance to relive some of those laughs again.

A final quick update: Richard is okay after his motorbike accident and is in Bavaria with the Army adventure training and Rebecca attended her first counseling session which was arranged via the Doctors. She enjoyed the first session and it enabled us to talk openly about her worries and fears. My poor family suffer through this more than me.

Oh and thanks for buying Steve a coke Bryn the other day. A simple act of thought and kindness can mean so much sometimes.

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Married to Steve, I have two children - Rebecca and Richard. Steve has two children, Lauren and Chris. Rebecca lives with us (nurse Rebecca) and my mom Judy also has become nurse and housekeeper but lives in the West Midlands. My son is in the Army and comes home when he can. I am 47, born in 1967 and I was told I had bowel cancer on 22nd Feb 2015 and this blog is my journey through it. I hope it helps you as you were the reason I started it.

12 thoughts on “Sleep and Facebook”

  1. Breaks my heart when your in so much pain Wendy but you still worry about others, bless you heart.
    So, so proud of Rebecca going to counselling not an easy thing to do but I hope it will help her to talk about what shit your going through and how to deal with it herself.
    Are the zumba what a hoot that was the boys enjoyed participating in good spirit.
    I have everything crossed that you can catch some sleep tonight, big hug. X

    1. Thanks Mary Poppins, I’m hoping to be better soon, it’s just so shit on this first week, makes me sad. Just had tea but got no taste, tired all the time and don’t walk properly but at least I’m at home and not shitting myself hey lol xx Love to everyone xx

    2. Wendy Woo your doing too much you shouldn’t have gone into work,
      I know!!!! I Know !!!!!
      it gives you a little bit of normality in the midst of all this shit 🙁
      But still honey your exhausted with the chemo & lack of sleep 🙁
      Take it easy on yourself xxxxxx
      Three great peices of news,
      Richard Safe
      Rebecca having her first councelling session.
      And Uncle Pete recovering
      Happy Days Xxx
      How’s Baby Jacob coming along?
      Loved the BHS Zumba Chicks 🙂
      It is great the fact that we can message around the world FREE OF CHARGE & FACE TIME it’s Fantastic 🙂 with my son Brett living in Montreal I would be devastated if we weren’t able to communicate daily or when the mood took us xxx
      Well my sweet another great blog you will seriously be helping so many families come to understand cancer as I’ve said before all these blogs need to put into a book FOR SURE. Because it’s real life real time warts in all xx
      You are an amazing Woman.
      Love n Hugs Always xxxxxxxxx

      1. Thanks Rita as ever, feel so flat today and wanting to put stuff online to cheer others up is so hard.I get pleasure from it so I won’t stop as long as it one day helps somebody. Thanks for your comments and love everyday, it all means so much. xxx miles don’t matter when you can feel the love hey mate, whatever countries our loved ones are in they are always in our hearts xxx

  2. You have still managed to make me smile even when your going through all this crap and in such pain, your team at must be missing you a lot, you must be a great boss to work for, my love to you and your family , xxxx

    1. Hi Tammy, thank you and we did have so much fun and I hope we will do again. Been a few really hard days but I hope it will get better soon again. Thanks for reading as ever and hope you are well xxx

  3. I have just shared on face book – Teresa said to share on your blog as well xx
    Please read. It will make you laugh, make you smile, make you wince and make you cry. In fact it will make your emotions go all over the place. What Wendy is going through is nothing short of a massive deal and she is going through it with such dignity. Her honesty is tough but refreshing and gives you an insight of how things are – a fraction of knowing what she is going through. I feel I am getting to know her even though I have never met her. Wendy – if you read this be assured I wish you all my best wishes and know that you have love being sent your way. I work with Teresa and feel I am getting to know you through her as well and her love for you and your family knows no bounds. Please continue your blog and allow us to join in your journey – albeit in a limited way – and to walk by your side. With very best wishes & hugs. Morag Keddie xxx

    1. Oh Wow! What a wonderful and lovely message to receive from you. So glad that you enjoy my ramblings. You work with Teresa, what a lovely person she is hey. Very special and I love her dearly but miles and life just kept us apart, how sad is that. They made my day on Sunday to have them in our home. It was like we had never been apart.
      Thanks for getting in touch and sharing with me your thoughts on my blog, keep sharing and 50 shades of Chemo is coming soon, now that will be interesting xxx

  4. We should ring each other up around 3am! I listen to Radio 4, actually the World a Service, plus podcasts from Radio 4. May as well learn about astronomy, good books, the lLife Scientific etc if I’m going to be awake!

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