Calendars and I couldn’t cope

Again sorry for the delay in today’s post. Lets start with the good stuff first shall we. So today the Calendars finally arrived, I was so excited to see the finished product. I’m so proud of what Steve has achieved. The quality is amazing. He has opened the online shop on the website, you just have to click on the photo to access it. The orders placed today and thank you for those will be posted out to you on Monday 1st class, you won’t be disappointed trust me.

Click here to order yours!

I made my first sales and have sold 6, that’s £42 🙂 I’m so proud that the fund raising has gone over £6k and when these hit our Golden Stores I know the product when seen will fly out. Again this couldn’t have been achieved without BHS exclusively funding the printing. What an amazing company I work for, I’m truly blessed.

So last night after a day of just background pain in my back which I’m used to and class it as a 2 or 3 out of the scale of 10 all nurses use. I got ready to sleep in my Dream Machine Chair. I was so tired and ready for sleep. For no reason at all my back went into extreme pain which I just couldn’t control. After an hour I had to take 5ml of oral morphine as I just couldn’t cope and I didn’t understand why. With morphine inside me. I slept all through the night, yes a miracle for me I know but when I woke at 6 am I was again in so much pain. I have to follow a daily routine of drug taking starting with tummy protectors and then I can’t take anything for an hour. So those taken I would now class my pain at an 8 and I’m scared, I feel like I’m going to faint, I’m all alone and feel like I’m going to pass out with the pain. I take two paracetamol, as this doesn’t effect the tummy protector as that’s for any Nurofen due to the high dosage that I take. I manage to get to the back door to get some fresh air and and I have to keep asking myself my name, trying to keep conscious. I moved into Steve’s office chair and with the back support it helps. Mom wakes at 7, I’m so pleased to see her. So now I can start taking stronger drugs and mom helps me. Nothing takes the extreme pain away, still rating it as an 8 and as the morning wears on I get even more into trouble where I would rate the pain as a 9. I take another 5ml of oral morphine and it doesn’t touch the pain at all. Steve called the Ian Rennie nurses team. I take another 5ml of oral morphine and again it didn’t touch the pain. Ian Rennie were with me with 10 minutes, the wonderful Suzanne. She didn’t need to ask how I was she could tell as could my poor loved ones that I was in trouble. She called the emergency Doctor to get some injectable medicine in me other than that I knew I may need to go back into hospital, The District nurses came in to do their treatment to me but by now I couldn’t even speak and don’t even remember the treatment being done. I just sat completely devoid of life, trapped in extreme pain. It took 7 1/2 hours for that pain to start to come down. I have been given a Fentanyl patch which should kick in tonight at around 10 pm. From 3 pm onwards I was able to function.  My poor loved ones again so worried about me and I just couldn’t hide it from them at all. It was just awful for us all.

So where am I now? Well I’m okay and I enjoyed watching Strictly Come Dancing, wasn’t Peter Andrei  amazing? He deserved to be top of the leader board 🙂

Rita as it’s Sunday tomorrow please say prayers for my loved ones. Karen and for Frankie as ever. All the wonderful Ian Rennie nurses out there who as a charity were so wonderful for me today.

And finally I had a wonderful present from Jo at Region 9, the final gift from all their presents from conference. It’s a Daisy hand stitched picture which is just so beautiful. Now Daisy Den is now completely full. As much as I love all the special presents being sent to me, no more gifts otherwise I will need to get an extension, lol.   Love to you all and I’ll post more if I can tomorrow. xx


Published by


Married to Steve, I have two children - Rebecca and Richard. Steve has two children, Lauren and Chris. Rebecca lives with us (nurse Rebecca) and my mom Judy also has become nurse and housekeeper but lives in the West Midlands. My son is in the Army and comes home when he can. I am 47, born in 1967 and I was told I had bowel cancer on 22nd Feb 2015 and this blog is my journey through it. I hope it helps you as you were the reason I started it.

23 thoughts on “Calendars and I couldn’t cope”

  1. Hey wend
    Sorry to hear you’ve been is such pain awful for you and the family. The Ian rennie nurses sound amazing. Fab news about the calendars. I’m sure that total fundraising will soon be rising. We’ll done you and of course Mr wonderful. Hope you have a much better night. Thinking of you all every day
    Debs xx

    1. Thanks Debs,
      A very hard day to get through but get through it we did and I’m feeling much better this morning, the patch must have kicked in so I’m hoping for a better day and days to come.
      Thanks for your message and for caring xx

    1. Hi Nicky,
      Better this morning but what a bloody day! Always seems to be something hey but it’s all good so far, well I’m only on my second coffee but that will soon change hey lol. Love to all xx

  2. Oh Wendy :-(.
    When is this pain going to end my poor you , it’s heart rendering and devastating for your family to witness.
    The Ian Rennie team are amazing, Thank God they are there for you my lovely xxx

    I’ll be on the prayers & candles at the 6 pm Mass so don’t you worry your wee self about that xxx

    Praying for a better pain free night tonight xxx
    Love & Hugs xxxxxxxx

    1. Morning Angel,
      Woke feeling much better, what a bloody day hey! couldn’t believe the pain I was in out nowhere, I was bloody scared though I can tell you.
      Within the next two weeks my life will be so much better with the new sofa’s and bed arriving, I can’t wait.
      Here’s to a better day for us all hey 🙂 keep them prayers coming, I need them xx Love ya xx

      1. Thank God for that <3
        So you've woke feeling better 🙂 That means enjoy the calm, no emptying dishwashers and exerting your self.
        Get into the dream machine and chill and enjoy the day with your loved ones <3
        Love & Hugs xxx

  3. Oh Wendy I’m so sorry you’ve had a bad day. You deserve a break, really you do. Thank goodness for Ian Rennie being on the end of a phone and coming to the rescue.

    Very happy that Mr Peter Andre gave you enough bounce and swivel to cheer you right up.


    1. Hi Lizzie,
      How could Peter Andrei not cheer anyone up hey, well I couldn’t have yesterday LOL but what a mover hey 🙂
      Woke feeling so much better so here’s to a happy Sunday to us all and thanks for your message xx

  4. Hi Wendy its heart breaking to hear you have be in so much pain again and feeling so ill but I’m please you are feeling a little bit better.
    Great that you have sold your first calendars and so good your fund raising has gone over £6000
    I’m praying you have a better day and I will be thinking of you and your family sending love and extra hugs as you all need them XXX

    1. Hi Mary,
      Much better this morning and if you are passing at all today you could always pop in for that coffee and I’ll sell you a Calendar lol. If your busy don’t worry but text if you fancy that coffee. Much love to you xx

  5. I really feel for you Wendy this should not be happening you being in so much pain….hope your feeling better today…will text you later to see if ok tomorrow if you are not please say and we can do another time…lots of love to you all…oh and calenders look fab fab fab xxxx

    1. Hi Nicky,
      I’ve woke up pain free, can you believe that after yesterday, well the back ground pain etc doesn’t count I’m used to that so tomorrow is definitely on and mom would love to see you too as she is down here. I will however sell you a Calendar lol xx See you tomorrow, bring your bathers too lol xx

      1. Oh great so looking forward to seeing you and your mum…oh yes i want some calenders i have a few people that have asked me for them too and OMG will defo bring bathers shall look forward to it xxxx

  6. Hi Wendy
    Not sure if you will remember me but here goes. I’ve recently seen your blog on Facebook shared by some of my friends. Connecting with old friends on FB is exciting as you get to see what they’ve been up to all of these years and how they’re doing now. I was really saddened to read you’re story especially when I realised it was you. I’m so sorry what you’ve been going through. You still have a good sense of humour which shines through in your blog and is one of the things I remember about you. I wish you all the very best with what life’s throwing at you. Keep fighting
    It’s Karen Ghent was Jennings xx
    Next stop to purchase one of your calendars for your very worthy charity. They look great well done xx

    1. Hi Karen, lovely to hear from you, did I know you from school the name really does ring a bell? thanks for your lovely comments and please let me knowif it was school. Hope you are well and happy in whatever path life took you xx

      1. Morning Wendy. Yes from school but I lived in Ragees Road. I used to hang out with Anita,Rebecca King, Yvette wilkes, Deb Tate I was the one with the very ginger curly hair, that may possibly jog your memory it’s how everyone remembers me. We used to all congregate either on the park or the shops on Madley Road. I didn’t move far I now live in Rangeways Road. Our best friends are Paul Hartland who lives next door to your mom. I am thank you I can’t believe how time has past us by. I hope you’re feeling a little better today. Xx

        1. Oh wow you live in Rangeways Road. you will have to say what number and I’ll pop in and say hello next time I’m at my mom’s. Small world hey and glad you are happy. Those names really did bring back some memories so thank you and yes I remember you 🙂 xx

          1. 76 and you’re welcome anytime I love to meet up with people from my past. I’ve received my calender it’s fantastic thanks well done to you and your team. Sorry to read your latest blog that you’re back in hospital my thoughts are with you hope you come out soon and feel better xx

  7. Nice to see you back on here, but so sorry to hear all the pain your going through. Please God you have pain free day today!, so keeping you in my prayers
    Calendar looks great so going on line to buy one before they all get sold out!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *